Manure Happens!

During our anniversary celebration yesterday my husband and I got to talking about the recent sermon series. Our pastors are teaching through the agrarian passages in scripture, about what farmers know that we don’t.

Well, I don’t know how the use of animal poo became part of the cultivating process, but whether it’s cow, chicken, or pig, there is something in it that yields a healthier crop.

So, how do we respond when manure is dumped into our lives? Is it welcomed as the stuff of great growth potential? Do we, as James so ridiculously admonishes, count it all joy when the manure starts to fly? Do we recognize the Master Gardener and Farmer as simply doing his job by preparing the soil for a magnificent harvest?

This must be the devil! God make it stop! This isn’t working for me! I want out! I’m done! These are some of my responses.

But if we’re in this Christian life for the long haul then we have to accept the fact that manure happens. God is simply doing his job to strengthen and multiply his investment. Like any good agribusiness man he didn’t get in this to produce a failed crop. What he is cultivating is too valuable to the world. And if we truly want to be of value then we’re going to need to submit to his process.

I don’t know if the seeds turn up their noses at the prospect of spending their life surrounded by poo, but I’ve never seen them fight it. Silly analogy I know, but just think about your responses when it comes to the manure that happens in your life.

It’s only in breaking through the earth and feeling the cool breeze on your leaves that you’re able to obtain the perspective that God’s not out to get you, but to grow you.

This might seem like a strange topic for a couple celebrating their anniversary, but my husband and I were reflecting on our year of pushing through the manure. For those of you who’ve been following my blogs this last year, remember the grief series?

God is the Master Gardener and Farmer. He knows exactly what is needed to bring out the best in each of his plots of earth. So, maybe the next time the manure starts to fly you just might respond, “It’s planting season!”

Love, Betrayal, and the Pursuit of Forgiveness

Have you ever loved someone so much that his (or her) obvious betrayal couldn’t diminish your love? Even though the pain was so deep and the offense was almost too hard to forgive.

There are circumstances in which the depth of emotional attachment makes it difficult to let go and see someone for who they continually show themselves to be.

Tough love may be the appropriate response. Setting boundaries to limit contact. Yet we grieve for the one who has betrayed us. And when the consequences of their actions catch up with them we don’t gleefully rejoice, instead we cry; remembering who they were, wishing things were different, and confronting the reality of what is.

For David, it was his son Absalom (2 Samuel 13-19:8). Maybe David blamed himself for doing nothing when Tamar (Absalom’s sister) was raped. Maybe David felt his own sins and personal struggles gave him little room for influence in Absalom’s life.

Love complicates things. While we know the hard and fast “rules”, love covers a multitude of sin (1 Peter 4:8). That’s why Paul can say, to us, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

Forgiveness is a painful process whereby we choose to die to self, especially giving up the right to get even. And just because the pain resurfaces, does not mean you have not truly forgiven. Continue to release the person, situation, and your emotions to God. Lastly, remember, forgive yourself.

Important side note: This is not saying stay in dangerous or harmful situations. Separation for the sake of safety is always a top priority. Even if you leave, forgiveness is still Christ’s expectation. But trust is earned. Never reengage with a previously harmful person (or situation) without professional help, consistent accountability and a supportive community. Isolation can be deadly.

Where do you see yourself in David’s story?
Who are you struggling to forgive?
What makes it difficult? (The good connection once had, the pain caused, just don’t want to)
How will you move forward?

Moving Forward

It has been a long while since I’ve entered the blogosphere. In January my family got news that we had to move and that has taken the bulk of my time.

As a writer, timing, space and energy, are necessary to the craft. Lately I have little, of these, if any. One thing I did have time to do was submit my last batch of blogs for consideration as a book. A devotional for those entrenched in the grief process. I had good reception for the idea and so I am moving forward with blogging and writing about how God brings joy out of our mourning.

As a form of re-entry on this topic I offer these verses from the Psalms. They provide consolation that the feelings we have are no surprise to God. Many have experienced hopelessness, frustration, and weren’t afraid to enter the presence of God for some much needed comfort.

Psalm 25:15-17
My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish.

Do you feel trapped? What has you ensnared?

What do you want to tell God about your current condition? Are you lonely, troubled, or full of despair?

Do you, like David, believe that God cares? That He will release you from this pain?

Do you have the courage and patience it takes to wait?

What you are going through isn’t random, there is a purpose, and you can make it through.

My Heart Cries Out

There has been so much heartache, pain, and confusion over the last six months. Through this storm I have clung to God like never before and found the hope and peace He promises. The devastation has produced a series I call Life Through Death.

If you have been following my blogs you may have noticed the morbid tone. And yet my aim has been to bring light to dark places for those who may be struggling as I. Intending to give hope that God specializes in bringing life out of our proverbially dead circumstances.

As Americans we don’t grieve well. Rarely do we sit in and with our pain, accepting what is. Instead we seek quick fixes back to the happiness that eludes us.

This series is written to those who are in the dead of winter, where there’s little sunlight, bitter cold, and the scarce promise of a happy ending. My reminder to you is that spring is on its way. Even though many things lay dormant, life is just beneath the surface. God is working.

Make Psalm 69 your prayer

Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.

But I pray to you, Lord,

in the time of your favor;

in your great love, O God,

answer me with your sure salvation.
Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;

Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up

or the pit close its mouth over me.

Answer me, Lord, out of the goodness of your love;

in your great mercy turn to me.
Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.
Come near and rescue me;

Father of Destruction / Lord of Life

When something goes wrong we tend to blame God, forgetting that we have an Enemy. Not just Christians. All of mankind is hated by a powerful enemy because of God’s grace shown toward us through the redemption provided in Jesus’ death and resurrection.

Our Enemy has aliases:

Accuser Revelation 12:10 Deceiver/Devil Revelation12:9

Father of lies John 8:44 Satan = Adversary

Tempter Matthew 4:3 Thief John 10:10

Do you feel like your best efforts are being thwarted? You can never get your head above water? You are constantly taking one step forward and being shoved a mile backward?

You have an enemy bent on destroying your life; and in doing so your faith in God is the collateral damage. If you are always blaming God and never giving thought to another source for your calamity and dismay, then the Enemy wins.

Everyone faces hard times; these are called trials. Trials come to build our character, increase our endurance, and teach us compassion for others who suffer. (James 1: 2-4 & 2 Corinthians 1:3-4) When the Enemy levels an attack, his desire is to ruin any shred of faith we may have left.

Jesus tells us in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”

Two things you need to know:
God is greater than your Enemy: the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world 1 John 4:4. This is a promise given to all who have trusted Jesus as their Savior.

God cares about your pain: This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:15-16

Life through kindness, compassion, and honest pain

Those with the gift of service and hospitality often meet a need even before it’s spoken. The Shunammite woman of 2 Kings 4:8-37 is like that. The prophet Elisha was a regular visitor to her town and she took notice. She fed Elisha. Then used her own money to build an addition to her home where he and his servant could stay when they passed through town.

Elisha wanted to reward and bless her – You have gone to all this trouble for us. Now what can be done for you? Can we speak on your behalf to the king or the commander of the army? (2 Kings 4:13). The woman was satisfied with the life she had.

She and her husband, however, were missing the blessing of a child and she never dared to ask. The promise of a child became her reward. Life came through her as a gift from God. And as sometimes happens our blessings become burdens.

Grief stricken, at the death of her child, the Shunammite travels to visit Elisha. Her journey was long enough to ponder the anguish of her loss and she said what many of us would only allow ourselves to think, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord?” she said. “Didn’t I tell you, ‘Don’t raise my hopes’?” (2 Kings 4:28).

What I love is the honest expression of her pain. She doesn’t sugar coat it. Grief can’t be wrapped up with a nice neat bow and put off to the side. We are meant to feel and process our grief.

Notice Elisha’s response. He is not put off by her strong emotions. Instead he responds with urgency, believing God can bring life out of death. Elisha was filled with compassion. And his compassion, along with God’s resurrection power, returned the Shunammite’s son to life.

Are there times when what once felt like a blessing began to feel like a curse?

When have you questioned a gift and/or the giver?

Have you experienced grace and healing in the midst of intense sorrow?

*Give yourself permission to grieve. God will stay with you through the rough places.

Life After the Death of a Child

Delving into my family history this week got me thinking about my uncle Robert who died at age six. I was only a little over two when that happened, but I do remember the subsequent years of grief that my grandmother endured.

There were the days at the cemetery, bringing flowers, and watching her sit and cry on his tombstone. Grandma would apologize through tears, deeps sobs, and low sighs.

I imagine Eve and Bathsheba knew this kind of pain at the loss of their sons. Eve’s story can be found in Genesis 4:1-16, 25-26. Bathsheba’s is in 2 Samuel chapter 11 and 12:1-25.

Before you read these accounts please hear this – do not insert yourself into these stories and see your loss as punishment. Mankind was never intended to die. The presence of death in the world is due to sin in general. We are at the eye of this vortex and at times there are innocent lives that get swept into the current.

Whether you give birth to more sons (Seth) or the wisest man who ever lived (Solomon), it doesn’t fix your heart. You still grieve for the one you lost. And the possibility of another loss is evermore real because you’ve already had the experience.

I don’t know what makes some women willing to try again and others say, “never again.” They both have their reasons and should be respected.

We don’t get a behind-the-scenes look at how Eve or Bathsheba handled their grief. Being flesh and blood women, not characters confined to the page, I believe they wept, sobbed deeply, and sighed. And life went on around them while they put their lives back together – one day at a time.

When have you experienced grief so great that there were no words?
What questions did you have (or do you have) for God?
How has your faith kept you going?